I Hate AI
I just do, I hate it
Sorry for taking last week off of this newsletter. Maybe you assumed I had something really good or really bad happen to me! Maybe you didn’t notice and me bringing it up is only bringing attention to it. There was really no reason, I just skipped a week because I was overwhelmed with other little stuff and jobs and decided it’s fine. It’s all fine! Nothing matters!!!!!!!
Speaking of nothing matters, I wanted to just write a screed this week. Haven’t really had a screed in a while, maybe ever, in this newsletter. But every day I wake up at best annoyed and at worst in a full existential spiral over one thing: AI. I fucking hate AI.
I’m a bit of a semi-luddite. Part of that is my personality, part of that I’m sure comes with age and comfort. There are plenty of technologies I have happily embraced early. There are plenty of others I’ve ignored or avoided with no problem because I don’t want to incorporate them into my life. That’s AI. In my mind, technology is supposed to solve a problem. I don’t have a problem in my life that needs solving with AI. So, if it ain’t broke, well, you know the drill.
A while ago, as AI was part of the AMPTP/WGA negotiations, and ChatGPT was popping up and people were for some reason believing in Sam Altman and these other losers, I made a rule that if I see someone use AI on their social media I’m unfollowing them. I’ve slightly loosened that as I would go down to almost zero (though maybe that’s the ultimate answer, being free!!!!!). I realize it’s a bit more ubiquitous at this point, and while I relaxed my rigid rule, I still judge the shit out of everyone who uses AI. I can’t help it.
I’m not even sure I agree with the existence of AI in theory, let alone in the actual bullshit execution we’re seeing. I guess in a perfect world it would enhance medical detection and diagnostic work, that would be wonderful. Outside of that, I don’t know if I get the point? I have yet to hear any real promise of what it can do that would make me get on board, even with it as a concept, let alone in practice. Sure it could speed up or eliminate a lot of boring work. I imagine if I had a job that required lots of annoying tasks, it would be a dream to have a tool to solve that. But that’s only true in a perfect, non-capitalistic, non-American world that absolutely doesn’t exist.
I can’t really speak to the benefits or drawbacks of AI in a corporate environment because I don’t work in one and don’t really understand what most people’s jobs are. If your job wasn’t one of the jobs an animal citizen of The Busy Town of Richard Scarry had then I don’t really understand it. I can speak to the creative side, at least with writing, and boy, I don’t think you get to call yourself a writer if you use any AI or LLM to write.
I’m so glad writers I respect are on the same side as me. David Simon and Seth Rogen and many others have come out very publicly against AI as a writing tool. It’s gross but unsurprising to see rich women touting it as a tool to embrace, lest we gals get left behind the men in a technological arms race to the middle (Demi, Reese, Oprah, Sheryl). In my actual community, I would say most writers I know find it abhorrent, with a few unsurprising people I know embracing it because they never really had true writing talent to begin with and don’t think what we do is art.
Of course I’m not the first or only person to say this, but the point of writing and the joy of writing and the art of writing is in the process of actually writing. I love writing! I mean, most days I hate writing, but hating it is part of loving it. There is no greater joy than finally cracking a scene or a sentence or even a word that had been a challenge for you.
The thing is, no one is forcing anyone to write. I’m sure there is technical writing at jobs people don’t want to do. Hell, when I’m on script sometimes I’m like, “I don’t want to do this.” But I chose to do it and it is an absolute privilege for this to be your job. So when I see people act like they are finally free because they can use AI to do the work of writing, I assume they’re an idiot or someone has a gun to their head forcing them to do this.
I don’t even feel like I need to explain too much why writers don’t want to use AI, and why people probably don’t want to read it when they’re looking for art. That seems obvious enough. But it’s the other writing of life that it’s taking over that troubles me even more. I personally don’t really know how to access ChatGPT. Is it an app? A website? Can you type in it or do you talk to it? Don’t answer that, I truly don’t care. I hope I live the rest of my time on earth with no clue how to use it.
I’m sure I have read plenty of things written by or with the help of AI. Articles and tweets and captions and email copy I’m certain are all getting filtered through whatever version of the tech a company or person prefers. The thing is, I can usually tell or sniff it out because it sounds so...dull.
Maybe it’s just me, but I like knowing the rules of language and then fucking around with them so that people understand my tone or I can be more entertaining. I guess this mostly refers to writing and text, since at least for now AI can’t really touch our in person talking styles (though of course regular use will make people start talking like it, which sucks so fucking hard). When I was a teen and college student, before texting was a glimmer in whoever invented it’s eye, my friends and I lived and died on AIM. It was the early days of eschewing proper grammar and casing and punctuation to telegraph your personality, your vibe. How cool you were lived within what acronyms or emojis or version of “laughing” you typed. Inside jokes with my friends existed almost exclusively in typos and inscrutable phrases.
Then texting and gchat and DMs dominated written social communication, and I’ve taken that with me. Some people use proper casing and punctuation. Some (like me) go for all lower case--or in the right circumstances, all caps--and usually reserve punctuation for making a point, not being grammatically correct. I’m someone who types “like” in the places I would use it when I’m speaking. I’m a daughter of the 80s and 90s and will forever use it peppered in my speech, and thus my writing, too. I use em dashes and incorrect ellipses and way too many parentheticals (you noticed I’m sure!!!). When I text it’s almost NEVER a big block, and instead is a barrage of several words at a time so it feels more like a conversation and less like an email I scheduled. I think a lot about how I text (and email, and message) because it’s fun. And I like when I’m texting with friends who all have their distinct styles because it reminds me I’m talking to a person I actually know and not a faceless internet user, or worse, a robot.
But even the non writing functions of AI suck a lot of ass. Everyone complains that Google search is basically unusable now. That was happening for a long time thanks to sponsored ads, but the introduction of AI tools has made it completely untenable. I try to hide or turn off those functions when I can, but I don’t always remember. A few months ago I was (once again!!!!!!!) the victim of identity theft/bank fraud. I got a notification that someone had opened a bunch of credit cards in my name with my information. So I had to call each store (they were all stupid stores) and talk to the credit department to cancel the cards. One store was TJ Maxx. So I googled “TJ Maxx credit department phone number.” I was in a panic and didn’t realize I was reading an AI generated result and dialed the number. It was for Nordstrom corporate offices. Like, regular Google would have given me the correct result. Why, with this artificial “intelligence” am I getting a different department and different store??
I don’t want to use AI...ever. I don’t. I don’t want it on my browser. I don’t want it in my texts. I don’t want it on my phone. I don’t want it in my ads. I know this is like the least fun Dr. Seuss entry, but it’s true. I don’t want it. I want to use regular Google search. I want to answer my own emails and texts without weird autopopulated responses that sound technically correct but devoid of humanity. I want to look at photos and videos without having to question if I’m being tricked by a robot or if this really is a cat on a waterslide.
The thing that pains me the most about AI--okay maybe not the most, maybe equal to the environmental devastation, the destruction of the labor market in an economy not built for that, the rise of the surveillance state, the death of art, blah blah blah more problems--is that it feels impossible to opt out of. They are FORCING this technology down our throats in every corner of the world. Maybe one day I’ll be proven wrong, and AI will be a beneficial tool. But until then, can’t I live MY life without it? Why don’t I get a choice in the matter? We have let a handful of outrageously rich, out of touch, mostly white and straight men decide how our future looks and who gets to participate in it. I’m ready for a revolution. I’m ready for the tides to turn and us to take ourselves out of techno-hell and into an equitable and sustainable future for everyone. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep double checking that I turned off AI functions.
[This post was written by a human.]
MORE STUFF! MORE STUFF!
Even though it’s definitely on the scary side, I’m loving Widow’s Bay on Apple. It has a super fun and weird tone and is chock full of incredible comedy actors. Yes, I do have to watch it during the day, but it’s worth it.
This week on Ruined we covered Them.
Join us for the next Ruined live show where we tackle the new movie, Hokum.
Monday I’m hosting Frankenbaby at Union Hall, Tuesday I’m at Greenpoint Comedy Club, and Thursday I’m HONORED to be on the inaugural comedy show at Canal Bar at 7!
Tuesday 7/7 I’m having my big book launch show at The Bell House. Details and line up to come, but if you’ll be in Brooklyn, get your tickets now!
And every week until July 7, a reminder to pre-order my debut book of essays, I’m A Lot wherever you get your books!